Transcript Goblin: ⚡️✪#????! Goblin: ✘????☁️????@! Dwarf: He’s pretty adorable when he’s all flustered and angry-like. Bard: I don’t speak goblin, but skulls and lightning bolts don’t look too happy.  

Transcript Wizard: A treent not an ent?  A halfling not a hobbit?  This is clearly ripping off J.R.R. Tolkien. GM: Well that’s the problem with copyright–you can’t just use names of anything you want or you’ll get sued. Wizard: Behold her!  Watch out for the floating one-eyed head with a bunch of eye stalks and a giant[…]

Transcript Paladin: I’m so excited to play guys!  Part of my backstory goes back several generations of my noble family. GM: And you fail the third death save.  You are dead. Paladin: What? GM: Sorry.  First levels don’t have very many hit points. GM: But think about it.  Now you can write another backstory for a new character![…]

Transcript Paladin: I edited my backstory down to about sixty pages. Paladin: I tried to send it last night, but when I added in the artwork it was too big. Paladin: Luckily I printed out a copy so we can work it into the plot.

Transcript GM: What is your passive perception? Dwarf: My character looks around for danger! Paladin: I draw my sword! Bard: I roll a perception check! Wizard: I cast stone skin! GM: So much for surprises.

Transcript Wizard: We could play on Wednesday nights. Paladin: Can’t.  That is during Adventurer’s League. Wizard: Friday? Paladin: Nope.  Friday night magic. Wizard: Saturday? Paladin: C’mon.  I can’t expect to be gaming every night.

Transcript GM: You find animal tracks on the ground.  Roll a survival or nature skill check. Wizard: Can it be an arcane knowledge check?  I’m much better at that. Bard: Or how about acrobatics?  

Transcript Bard: Some people don’t like the filter on this comic. Bard: They say you can’t tell what is what in the images. Wizard: What?  And this is coming from the Instagram generation?  

Transcript GM: I can’t just let you have treasure without a challenge. Bard: Why not?  Be inventive and surprise us once in awhile! Bard: Not what I meant.  

Transcript Bard: If we are out of combat, I got all the time in the world. Bard: That means I can just keep trying to pick this lock forever. Bard: Therefore I don’t even need to roll–so just let me open it.